What is your motivation? What pushes and draws you forward when you are not sure of what lies ahead of you? Is it your spouse, kids, friends, church, or is it something inside of you? Is it your a need to do and see more of life, or the need to live as your truest possible self? My motivation is my faith. It helps me to believe that I have a purpose in this nightmare and that all things are possible.
When everything first happened, I lived in fear, and I was constantly asking “Why God?” I couldn’t figure out what I did to deserve this. As time passed, and I grew to accept my truth, and the needs of honoring who I am, I understood that God doesn’t make mistakes. I was not punished for my sins but rather chosen for my strength (as I believe that all trans people are). My faith is the light and source of strength during these troubling times.
No matter what you believe, your faith should be the light that kills FEAR. I have a lot of time to sit around and think… sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it’s not so good. In a place like this, fear will eat you alive. Fear of not knowing what will happen from one day to the next. They use that fear as a weapon against us, putting folks in solitary for days with no reason, revoking privileges, or removing communications to make you think you have been abandoned by your loved ones.
Fear is tearing this country apart right now. I understand how people can be afraid of something or someone they don’t understand. Fear is the instinct that drives fight or flight or “freeze” in every living species. That “Freeze” response is the most dangerous. That is the ” do-nothing-and-hope-it-goes-away” response that has led our country to the brink of another civil war. We don’t like change or anything that opposes the beliefs that we were brought up with.
The question is why? What’s wrong with change? I think it’s because people don’t like to feel like they have lost control. They don’t want to accept that the conditioning they were raised with, no longer defines them. If they aren’t who their parents or church or community says … then who are they? Fear of my truth and my voice is what led me on this journey and facing that fear is what has set me free. I’m not afraid of living my truth in prison. I face my time as Ky Peterson and work the programs that I know will get me home sooner.
~Words of Ky
*Ky is no longer permitted to send messages for me to post on the Blog via Jpay. However, Freedom Overground is an organization made up of volunteers who can share anything that this sent to us, on any media platform that we choose (with the express permission of the writer).