Communications in and out of prison are difficult and can be very costly. I do what I can to keep communications open between Ky and his Mom. Earlier this week, I was speaking with Ky’s mom about the “asthma pump” situation and I decided to take things a step further.
I took the opportunity of discussing Ky’s medical needs to explain to her exactly what Gender Dysphoria is and why Ky is planning on transitioning when he gets out. She listened and responded very well. Later, I got this message from her.
Just let Ky know that it does not matter if she stays like she is or changes, she is mines and nothing or nobody can change all the love i have inside me for her. she has to do what makes her happy and im here for her so just let her know that i love and miss her so bad. she is my best friend i got to get use to say he or him Thanks for helping my baby
The next night, Ky and I had a video visit, where Ky told me how happy he was to get his mom’s message. He was in tears when he asked me to send her a message back. This is what I sent to her:
Thank you ,
I sent Ky the message. He said as long as you love him, he doesn’t care what you call him. I got this message for you from him in a email this morning:
I love you so much and I am glad that you love me enough to try to understand how I feel and what I am. Mom I …miss you very much. I just want you to know that I love you and that I am glad your my mom. You are awesome and I love you for loving me the way that you do. I just want you to know that I am still going to school and that I am doing okay right now. I love you ma. Write me soon and I put you a letter in the mailbox for you this morning. I love you moma. Love your Baby Ky
Ky’s Mom’s reply; (please note the He/Him/ His pronouns)
Thank you so much and let him know that I’m gonna call his counselor in the morning and talk to her about getting him a pump. let him know that nobody is listening to me about getting him a pump to help him breathe and I’m so proud of him…i want him to not let them folks steal his joy from him and i love and miss him so much I’m sending his letter out in the morning and tell my baby to keep his head up and Thank you again…
I know Ky’s mom to be a spiritually faithful woman, and I am really impressed with her ability to not allow her faith to cloud her understanding of Ky being transgender.
There have been so many occasions where someone has said the dreaded “God doesn’t make mistakes.” Every time I hear those words I simply reply with this:
No, God doesn’t make mistakes. People are born with neurological disorders every day. I have a child who has Aspergers, and while it’s nothing like Gender Dysporia, it IS a neurological condition that affects many people.
You never hear someone say “God doesn’t makes mistakes.” to a person with depression, or OCD or Autism, so why should this be a response to someone who is Gender Dysphoric? I am a person of faith, and I believe God creates us perfectly. I don’t see the neurological conditions that people are born with as mistakes. They are simply challenges given to those who’s spirits are strong and courageous enough to live their lives under extraordinary circumstances.
~ Pinky Shear
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